27
Aug
2009
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Remembering the Dead

When we lose a dear friend, someone we have loved deeply, we are left with a grief that can paralyse us emotionally for a long time. People we love become part of us. Our thinking, feeling and acting are codetermined by them: Our fathers, our mothers, our husbands, our wives, our lovers, our children, our friends … they are all living in our hearts. When they die a part of us has to die too. That is what grief is about: It is that slow and painful departure of someone who has become an intimate part of us. When Christmas, the new year, a birthday or anniversary comes, we feel deeply the absence of our beloved companion. We sometimes have to live at least a whole year before our hearts have fully said good-bye and the pain of our grief recedes. But as we let go of them they become part of our “members” and as we “re-member” them, they become our guides on our spiritual journey.

These reflections are taken from Henri J.M. Nouwen’s Bread for the Journey. http://www.henrinouwen.org/books/topten/?id=1101355855022122500

I will try to remeber this.

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1 Response

  1. I remember you cried at the vets. Did you cry again at starbucks? Did you cry again that night or the next or the next or the next or the next or the next or the next or the next or the next or the next or the next or the next or the next or the next or the next or had you already moved on. I can't remember if you cried after we left the vets. Do you re-member?